was realli sick todae..haiis ii sleep till ii woke up and found dartx it was 6am was still in tyme for skool but ii could not make it as ii was too sick was down wiid a realli bad cold..at home whole dae was so sian haiis!!~ go to skool oso beri sian at home oso beri sian this world realli sucks..
sometymes tears jus roll down for no reasons haiis ma life is jus a stupid mess..realli feel lik ending it ii don have no more stupid mood to be cheerful and cheer everyone up animore no matter how hard ii try ii jus feel so empty..ii don even noex whye this suck everyting around me suck..ii suck,ma result suck and everyting ii do suck..realli wann tings to work out for me but ii jus not as luckly as everyone else is..haiis realli veri sick and tired of everyting..sometymes ii get so bored ii wanna find someone to chatt but ii jus stare at dde fone and ii could do it..ii'm breaking down in dde inside but ii jus bare wiid it and everyone think's im fine and this suck coz ii'm not or should ii sae nobody cares and ii noex it..
todae ii did much tinking well,ii rmd dde past where ii noex ii got zhenling & peiqi in watever ii do..ii feel we had dde same tinking den ii felt safe wiid them at dartx point ii fell dartx ii don niid aniting animore iim more den blessed den..but tings happened and ii was on i diff track from them after dartx..den ii was wiid shimin and ii noex for us it was dde diff thinking we had dartx made us frwens wiid her ii learn to accept others diff and letting other in breaking down dde wall and not building walls before animore get a chance to get in..
and now our thinking change even more some time ii wanna call them ii would jus stare at the fone and wait for time to pass think where is it right..will they pick up wat should ii sae..
and sometime ii think if ii lay here will they lay here wiid me right beside me and jus forget dde world..ii noex the ans is no..they are lik 350 miles way ahead of me..its not lik dde past animore where we can waste chasing cars around our heads letting our minds go wild playing our harts out,living life to dde fullest..
well here ii am alone not try or putting ani afford to get some one new..ii noex ii on this track alone..ii missed them much and if onli ii had dde key to dde past we'll do it all everything before we get too old cos ii don wann to regret animore ii found out ii have lost too much but so wat ii noex this will neba happened dde past neba repeats..and so wat if they are gg to forget me forget ma birthdae is it dartx important to them animore..well ii don niid aniting..ii don ii noex ii don realli noex how to sae how ii feel but ii noex deep down in ma hartx they are the most wonderfull ppl ii even noex and ii realli lik them in ma life and ii all dartx ii wann was for them to feel dde same dartx we were true frwens and darts enough..ii noex ii don have another dae but ii decided ii not gg to tell them let fate decide if they are happiex moving on den they are moving on ii not gg to drag them down..coz ii noex ii not ready yet so ii will take ma time..ii don wanna fade away ii wanna take ma time and if ii was luckly enough maybe ii will miit them again or someone where ii can be frwens for life years lata..ii don wanna fit in lik wat everybody wans all ii wan now is to play ma own game even if it means ii have to be alone in ma own world coz ii don mind..
ii noex you ppl don understand wat ii'm saeing but it dose not matter it will not change aniting for me at all....
